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The 2016 election came pretty close to cutting that tether. It wasn't that I blamed God for the results, but rather I held up scripture on one side, and *45 on the other and a quote from Daniel came to mind: "Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting." Then I watched the fawning crowds and the remnants of the so -called "moral majority," I heard about the outreach to the Amish by the right, watched some ultra-orthodox Jewish leaders embrace the charlatan, and read horrible things posted by people I knew and had once respected. It wasn't that I was out of touch - it was that these people prayed to a Jesus that I didn't recognize or followed a religious tradition that should have understood what it meant to be the classic "other." If this was what religion in America has come to - then what was the fucking point? Nothing mattered. Not decency, not caring, and certainly not love.
The shock of the election results slowly gave way to the ever increasing sense of dread - and sadness. Then there was anger and incredulity. Inauguration day came ... and it went ... and with each passing day of this administration I kept wondering, with everyone else, "Is this the bottom?" The answer was always no. It is still no. But what shocked me was the complicity of the religious people a generation removed from Jerry Falwell and Billy Graham ... and a generation of my friends who seemed to exult in the cruelty, or worse - said nothing about it. I was, and remain horrified at what is being done and said. And more than once I have thought of the remark by Hannah Arendt which is quoted in Marion Kaplan's painful book "Between Dignity and Despair:"
"Our friends Nazified (gleichschalteten) themselves! The problem . . . after all, was not what our enemies did, but what our friends did."People I knew "Trumpified" themselves. Suddenly it became okay to call people names, to treat people inhumanely, and to be cruel. Furthermore, lies became truth, adultery and infidelity became a private affair rather than a public shame or moral failing as they were in Bill Clinton's case, and baseness became a virtue. Overnight those who proudly wore "Jesus First" pins in the 1970s and who touted Charles Sheldon's idea of "What would Jesus Do?" threw out whole portions of their scriptures in order worship at the feet of Trump. How is it possible to reconcile one of Jesus' most fundamental (and most Jewish) teachings with the policies and language of this administration?
"Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law [Torah] and the prophets." Matthew 7:12. In the language of the Talmud it is "Whatever is hurtful [ or hateful] to you, do not do to your fellow."And how could Jewish leaders follow *45 when they have an excruciatingly intimate understanding of "otherness?" How could Christians and Jews turn the other way as cruelty reigned and not see how it made a mockery of "love your neighbor as yourself" which is found in both the Torah and in the Gospels? How can some humans, made in the image of God, be considered outside the parameters of that commandment? I cannot wrap my mind around it. I have been reading the Bible for 43 years ... I have been studying theology my entire adult life. I have read Swindoll, MacArthur, Warfield, J.I. Packer, H.A. Ironsides .... I have read Heschel, and Hartman,Weisel, Chaim Potok, and Weisenthal. I cannot find a suitable answer in anything I've read which can excuse the things that are being excused today.
Not once did I ever question God. I merely questioned whether God was at all. Obviously God wasn't being taken seriously anyway. Not by the evangelicals, not by the Orthodox Jewish community, not by the people I knew giving tacit approval to vindictive and merciless behavior and policy. And for almost two years I haven't been able to look at scripture, darken the door of a religious institution or even give much thought to God. As I said a little over a year ago, I had come to feel that religion was either complicit or powerless. I didn't want any part of it.
But then two things happened. I binge-watched Shtisel on Netflix, and I began to pay more attention to Pete Buttigieg. In a strange way Shtisel reminded me why I chose Judaism and felt compelled to convert. Mayor Pete reminded me that the Religious Left has been absent for too long and that it is desperately needed as much now as it was during Vietnam. And those two things ignited a minute spark in my soul that I will describe as tikvah. It is incredibly small. But I can sense that it's there just the same.
While I had been focusing on the Falwells and the Grahams of the religious right, I had forgotten about the Robert McAffee Browns, the William Sloane Coffins, the Martin Luther King Jrs, the Abraham Heschels, the Berrigans, the Andrew Goodmans, and even the Father Michael Doyles of the religious left. There is a strong and vibrant religious tradition on the left that stands for human rights and dignity, equality and fairness, decency and virtue. A constant interaction with scripture had forced me to make a left turn years ago and I found it hard to throw it all away and simply declare, like the New York Times, that God was dead. I am a spiritual person by nature -- and a believer because I have no choice - I simply cannot fathom an alternative.
After the shooting at the synagogue in Pittsburgh I was reminded that I have a connection to the Jewish community. That connection is -- imperfect, sometimes fumbling, and lately - very distant. But the connection is also mystical, powerful, and eternal. The very act of going into the waters of the mikveh completely unclothed - no pretense, nothing to hide behind - and joining myself to the Jewish people is a powerful one. Binge watching Shtisel reminded me of the chants, and prayers, the language, the calendar, the wonder of Judaism. I can see the beauty in the discipline of an ultra orthodox life even if I can't understand why on earth someone would choose to remain so isolated. But, there are things that can be learned - even from those who are not like us ... even from those who would certainly not welcome me or even consider me Jewish.
Mayor Pete reminds me that it is okay - in fact necessary - for those of us on the left to willingly tether ourselves to the religious traditions from which we derive our values. Those who have come before us were willing to risk everything to protest a war that savagely split the nation and ravaged a country thousands of miles away, they have challenged the status quo on race relations, campaigned for the poor and disadvantaged, and have acted as the true conscience of a nation that sometimes loses its way. In fact, I see a direct correlation between the rise of the religious right, the declension of the religious left, and the malaise the United States finds itself in today. Pete Buttigieg may not win the Democratic nomination, but he has certainly opened an important conversation centered on reclaiming faith, love of country, and values.
And yes, I do feel that as a nation we have lost our way. I see Vietnam as a conflict that we have yet to recover from in many ways - a conflict which saw great valor, but also great atrocities which scarred the conscience of America. Others may disagree, but I believe it was then that we began to lose our way. We are a nation focused on the wrong things, valuing strength over decency, war over peace, corporations over people, money above all. We worship guns to the extent that we are willing to sacrifice the nation's children for our right to have them much as the ancient Canaanites burned their children alive as a sacrifice to Molech. We have prioritized the wealthy over the poor in direct contravention to the teachings of the very Jesus that Evangelicals are supposed to follow. And what did James say?
"For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment; And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there or sit here under my footstool: Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts? Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs to the kingdom which he hath promised them that love him? But ye have despised the poor. Do not rich men oppress you, and draw you before the judgment seats? Do not they blaspheme that worthy name by which ye are called? If ye fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well: But f ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors." (Jas. 2:2-9)
James is echoing words he would have heard from the Prophets, like Amos:
"For three transgressions of Israel, for four, I will not revoke it: Because they have sold for silver those whose cause was just, and the needy for a pair of sandals. [Ah] you who trample the heads of the poor into the dust of the ground, and make the humble walk a twisted course! (Amos 2:6-7)But the religious right have "omitted the weightier matters of the law justice, mercy, and faith" ... and have "strained at a gnat, and swallowed a camel." (Matthew 23:24). You cannot claim exclusive rights to a "Judeo-Christian faith and look the other way when the poor are made poorer, when children are taken from their parents, when kids are afraid to go to school, when justice is perverted, when the rich are made richer, or when cruelty is the order of the day.
So I am more hopeful today than I was a month ago. And I don't know what that will mean for tomorrow or the next day. I still curse at the television almost every day. I still shake my head with incredulity every time Sarah Huckabee Sanders lies in spite of her professed faith in someone who claimed to be "the way, the truth, and the life." I am still angered when I see the some in the Jewish community embrace a man who cannot manage to keep the 7 Noahide laws but give him a pass anyway. I grow weary of being angered and shocked. And yet, I think it's essential to avoid becoming numb and allowing this to become the "new" normal. It isn't normal. It should never be accepted as normal. So I will continue to be angered and shocked. And I am hopeful it will pass.
And I have yet to determine how this small but renewed hope will guide my path forward. I am undisciplined and inconsistent, well meaning, but often caught up in daydreams or Netflix. It's problematic being a loner and a thinker (dreamer) by nature and being part of a faith tradition that is communal in its worship and prayer and places great importance on getting off the couch and "doing" tikkun olam or "repairing the world. Christianity has hermits and monks in its tradition -- in Judaism it's not unheard of, but certainly not mainstream. And Judaism is about questioning and studying -- but the point is the Torah, the mitzvot, the service to the community, and being in prayer together. I love that ... and I struggle with it at the same time.
But still -- From Shtisel to Buttigieg I have found a faint and flickering spark of tikvah ... hope. I will hold on to that for now.
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